Numbing fingers....

Am typing in school library now. The air-con is on at full blast. It's like 9 in the morning. I'm supposed to bve having History lesson now but CARROT sucks, so I skipped his lesson. AHA. I wouldn't mind skipping Peng's one also... I'm not likely to pay attention - I'm just not the kind of person who can focus. But Peng = really really nice! HE's ever-smiling. They say he's never scolded a student before. (But someone told me he was an unpleasant teacher. I forgot who... it sounds really impossible though.)

I think I'm REALLY dropping Hist now because I'm skipping Hist like hell. I don't think I can catch up very easily after first 3 mths.

*sighs*

I'm supposed to go ice-skating today. I was so enthusiastic about it and everything. I was one of the planners. I even PSYCHOED people to go. But now I'm really confused. I feel damn bad. About lying to my mom and everything. I REALLY wanna go - don't get me wrong. I won't NOT go just beause my dad says it's not good to go ice-skating. I've learnt to not be taken in so easily and just do what I REALLY want. But I really feel horrible about lying to my mom and all - and if I DO go... what am I gonna say to her when I reach home? Plus, my dad knows what I'm up to - I'm still praying he hasn't told my mom. Yet.

Okay, obviously he hasn't because he's at work now and my mom hasn't called to SCREAM in my ear or something. (Then again, she knows I';m in school and guai-guai-ing having lessons. Or so she thinks, anyway. Bah. I'm really confused now. Go? Or not? I wouldn't mind going but not today. When there's school tomorrow. When we have to RUSH like hell cause I promised to be back by seven pm. I wouldn't mind going if EVERYONE could make it and it was on a weekend. Unfortunately weekends mean 'family day' for too many people. Me? no 'family day' anymore. Saturday, I'm stuck at home - mostly alone. Baaaaaah.)

I suppose I'll leave things to fate. Haha. We'll see this afternoon.

But I really don't feel like going anymore.

*cries*

But I wanna be with mah class.

Or am I thinking too much about all this? Worrying too much?

Hello, it's not ME at stake here... it's the trust my parents have in me... And while I tell white lies to them ALL the time... this = BIG issue. Whether I like it or not.

>.<

Just saw GP skit(s). The finals. Highly entertaining (haha, I think I'm being sarcastic. Or not. Whatever.) For some reason, the end of our study-mamas skit was the funniest one. The part where the camera panned in on the four chi-go-pehs (ie. old pervies) waiting in line for their massage. Wahaha. Swee Wei really looks like one. Hee.

Yesterday I attended GUZHENG PRACTICE. It like totally SUCKED. -_- I'm really considering quitting. I love the instrument and I love the songs we're playing and I especially appreciate the fact that all my ZH guzheng friends (and some new ones that I've made) are here to go through all that sh*t with me, but the thing is, I don't like the teacher. I don't like the hours. They released us at like EIGHT-THIRTY yesterday. PLUS. The worst thing is the J2s who are supposed to be helping us don't even have a real clue about what they're playing in the first place. Of course I'm glad that they tried to help but... the whole troupe is so frikkin disorganized that no one is CLEAR about the exact notes to play and crap and if the teacher or anyone else thinks we're going to get anything but a COP in our current state, they're dead wrong.

Do you know when I finished my dinner yesterday? NEARLY NINE. PLUS - it's my MOM who cares more than I do about reaching home late!!! x.x I want her to stop caring so much. I don't frikkin need it. She was screaming at me for being mindless because I didn't grab a snack after school to make me not-s-hungry. HELLO? When I reached home I DIDN'T SAY A SINGLE WORD ABOUT MY STATE OF HUNGER. Sometimes that woman really makes me want to kill myself.

I'm not saying I hate her. (WHy should I? since she's done EVERYTHING for me?) But she doesn't need to smother me with all her love disguised by screamings and shoutings and reprimandings and constant-raids-on-my-drawers-and-bags-and-purse.

Bah. Not happy. Maybe it's because of O level results. Don't think so, though...

I told myself wouldn't angst/crap/sound angry too much. But bah. Wanted to let off some steam.