ooo I'm hopping on the bandwagon~

Yes...

...you should have guessed.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=neoshuting

Do this for me and I'll love you forever. <3 (though I'm not sure if that's a good thing.)

=) thanks a lot! muahahahaha~

boooo.

youtube.com is an extremely useful place. =)

Hahaha... this past week has been one of the most tiring ones I've ever experienced. With the shadow of that terrible Geography test looming over me, I couldn't help but feel stressed all the time. I dunno what happened to me, but I have very great difficulty staying awake in most lessons now. Long ago, I never needed much shut-eye to keep my eyes completely open throughout all lectures and tutorials. Sigh. What's wrong with me? 6 hours of sleep still leaves me haggard like hell.

For once, guzheng practice was extremely tiring too. Siiigh.

But I feel better now because geog test is over! Yay! But there's still Econs test. Sigh. JC2 sucks.

I should stop sighing, hor.

Tuesday

To all NYJCians... anyone who visits the cafeteria should get a taste of Deli Inn's teriyaki chix pau!!

The name is super duper cutie, right?

SHAVE: *can barely stop giggling* Auntie, she me shi teriyaki chix pau?
AUNTIE: (in Mandarin) Aiya, teriyaki chix pau is teriyaki chicken pau lor! *sounding super sure of herself* Short form ma! Chicken the word very long eh! I thought you youngsters like to use short forms! So I use chix lor, chix is short form for chicken, no meh? Wrong arh? Chix is short form for chicken ma! Why you keep laughing? Very funny meh?

So now we have Chix Run. Chix Little. Chix rice. Chix egg. Chix wings. Chix chop. Chix pox. Chix feet. Et cetera. (courtesy of Chey & me) And now we can go up to a coward and tell him/her, "don't be a chix la, you!"

Yup... so go take a look at the small notice that's pasted on the right of the stall. =)

Hm, my thoughts are so disorganized...

Friday

Was ANITA'S birthday!=) A2 really is so sweet and creative when it comes to coming up with new gift concepts and throwing mini bashes...

Went with dear Shuyi aka Lupin to make her passport today. Very happy! Lupin is so cute. But Lupin should learn not to get so stressed up about things. =) Jiayou girl!

I'm starting to find Lit lessons a bit more productive now than usual. King Lear is actually a bit interesting because the Fool is superbly not-foolish and he always says not-foolish and witty stuff la. He is a better character than almost all the rest of the cast. King Lear is an idiot, Cordelia is not much better, Regan and Gonoril are bitches (but that makes them a bit more interesting ba), Edmund is The Bastard. But Edmund in the screen adaptation is quite shuai la, I must admit. ^^;;

Today

experiencing a headache, so I have no idea why I'm online. Guess it's (over?)exertion from the 2.6km (approx.) run I did today!! I'm damn proud of meself! I ran 2.6km without stopping, maintaining a steady pace throughout! OMG!

I am really, really suffering from withdrawal symptoms because of KBOX. I could not go with Shannen and Ade today. *sniff* Oh, well, there'll be other chances - I've been promising everyone 'after block tests'. Meh. I wonder how I'm going to scrape a visit to Kbox without parental knowledge again.

I'm a bad, bad girl.

Can't wait to watch Howl's Moving Castle! Gosh, I have sooo many movies to catch up on. I borrowed Sound of Music, Mononoke Hime, Spirited Away, A Moment to Remember (like 1000 years ago o_o) and I haven't actually watched them all. Oh, yeah, there's still my taped version of My Brother (which stars WON BIN!!...) I would have seen it earlier if the fact that it's the_taped_version didn't keep putting me off -_- Anyone wanna watch any of these with me?

Should get back to mugging Econs soon (though it's DRQ, so I wouldn't worry too much.)

Thank God for everything!

sigh.

Sometimes I don't know why I do the things I do. Sometimes I don't really know who I am anyway. Maybe I'm very afraid that I won't like what I find... I am such an ugly, ugly person. I hate giving in. Hate being stepped on. Hate being taken for granted. Hate being so sensitive. Hate being easily hurt. Hate the fact that these traits I so despise can be found in myself.

Hurt grips me, silences me, coils me up, pastes a fake smile on my face, forms a barrier, forms a weapon that makes me hurt others too. The cycle of hurting doesn't end and it hasn't ended yet. I don't know if I am paranoid or thinking too much. But some things have to be said and done. Sooner or later. Why not sooner? (Why can't I say, why not 'never'?)

I want to run away. Run away, run away, run away.

a loooong week

Ello ello. =P

This week has been eventful, and I have not had the time to update it at all!!

Anyway, Tues was V-day, I was quite happy...!! Cause of the many goodies that I recieved... hehe... I have a sweet tooth! And it felt good to give gifts with what little abilities I had. (Though I felt somewhat low at the end of the day because of... certain troubling friendship issues.) Thanks to all you gave me gifts and to all my friends. ^_^

Oh, and Adeline gave me a V-day present too! So sweet of her, I did not expect it at all! But her postcard really brightened up my day. Helps to know that there's still an ex-classmate who cares =D

Wednesday was WONDERFUL. I organised a lunch outing to... erm, a secret hiding place for my dear guzheng clique. We da-baoed lunch there and spent about one hour (or nearlly two) chit-chatting! Gosh, I reallly love them. I love them for who they are and for letting me be myself around them. It's no often I can talk so freely, but with them words come so easily! Yesh, and we have called ourselves the FOUR MARAUDERS. Guess which one I am. Ahahahaha. (clue: I'm very serious. Okay, that was a dead give-away.)

To Lupin: I love you forever!! Muacks~~ Thanks for everything. I mean it. =)

To James: I miss you! So glad that we had a chance to chit-chat again!

To Pettigrew: I think I'll try to stop being mean to you. And... yup, you know what's coming~ =P

Anyway, that place is now our secret hideout. Hopefully we never get discovered or caught there.

Oh, yeah, we pissed off our guzheng instructor...

AND yesterday was THE ONE FINALS. Whee. The soloists were okay, but the GROUPS... I don't think there was any really very terrible one. I LOVE THE ELECTRIC GUITAR. I WANNA LEARN IT. HAHA. Justin Junyi Marcus ROCKED. Their 'Breathe Easy'... It was perfect. Totally. The rock bands - well, the rock bands ROCKED, too. =/ But Li Jun Yi and Friends won the Grand Finals!! Yay!! Congrats! =D

Wahlao, that stupid bunch of bimbos sitting behind our row. Superbly desperate la. (from classmates' account) They were swooning over every single so-so looking guy that pops up on stage. Heard that they even started absurdly bitching about other people's physical appearances. They must be blind, or just jealous. Seriously, even if they really think so, they should just keep their mouths shut or at least keep their voices down in a crowded place, and try harder not to be heard by so many smarter people in the auditorium.

ugh. Did I mention I have very very very little tolerance for bimbos like these? And why am I bitching like this too? Hahahaha.

Today was an okay day. Oh, yeah, Mrs Chua took over for Economics today. SO HAPPY. For the first time in a long time I felt interested in Econs again. I was fully attentive for the whole lesson. Mrs Chua just... rocks... Sigh. WHY CAN'T YOU BE OUR ECONOMICS TUTOR!!? T_T

Oh yeah, this brings me to an important point. I HAVE DROPPED MATHS!! NO MORE MATHS FOR ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, HURRRAHHHHH. Main reason: If I have to put in extra extra effort to do well in Maths since my capability to do Maths is way below average (I am not kidding, it's only hard work that gets me anywhere), my other subjects will be jeopardised... Anyway, I feel very shuang now. At first I was feeling very terrible about it. But now I'm just glad that my love-hate relationship with Mathematics has ended at last. For, as everyone knows, love-hate relationships just don't work out. So what if for that period if time that you love him/her/it, you love him/her/it to bits?

Haha, my analogy is SO COOL MAN.

Which somehow brings me to another point. I watched I NOT STUPID TOO!! It's a great movie. Funny and sad by intervals. I actually cried, which is saying a lot. And... I <3 Shawn Lee. Totally. Even my mom thinks he's handsome, and cuter than Joshua Ang at that~ Hahahaha~

integration

waaaaaaaaaaaaah. help me. liao already.

Integration sucks. I just CANNOT integrate stuff. Don't you dare come and tell me, "Haiya, it's okay la, this topic is like this one, the only difficult thing is the area and volume thing, all you have to do is just follow and memorize the formulae, apply formula here, apply formula there, can liao. It's all about applying formulae, la." I can't even do BASIC INTEGRATION.

HOW TO FIND (integration sign here) (1/2-x)^2!!!!???

Stop thinking that I can do maths, okay. FYI, my maths score once hit a SIXTY PERCENT in PRIMARY SCHOOL. And I was scoring F9 all the way for A Maths until O levels. DON'T THINK that I am good and talented at Maths, okay. Just because I have the so-called MATHS FACE. Don't think that just because I mug above the average standard of my class and am extremely silent in class, I am a stupid, geeky, unthinking, dull, boring, retarded, ineloquent, autistic, whatever person with no life, okay.

(Hahaha, what am I fa-xieing about la? Well, if I look on the bright side, at least it's more do-able than Trigonometry and AP/GP.)

Going to watch I Not Stupid II later! Yay!! (See la, slacking again. IT'S NOT LIKE I ENJOY MUGGING, OKAY. I study regularly 'cause for me, SLOW & STEADY WINS THE RACE. Think I can cheong 100m from finishing line? Sorry, I cannot. I never was able to. I am even more likely to slow down.)

(btw. I am not very pissed or anything. Okay, I'm a bit pissed. I'm pissed about my standard of Maths again. T_T)

The pon star and the mugster.

What an unlikely pair of besties, no?

Anyway, the pon star and the mugster went to J8 on Friday to chit-chat and shop-shop. They ventured into Body Shop where the pon star tried to introduce perfumes to the blur mugster. Then the pon star got the crazy idea of spraying perfume on their star-keychains. The blur mugster excitedly tried to, aimed wrongly and sprayed perfume on their arms instead. Haix. Clumsy mugster. Poor Body Shop people.

The mugster has been mugging very hard today, for goodness knows what. She is very bored and tired of homework now.

But the mugster has been feeling better than usual! Maybe cause it's the weekends.

Muahahahaha. Anyway, the mugster feels that it is extremely difficult to talk about herself in the third person, so, she will switch to the first person from the next sentence onwards. Hahaha, yay, I am now talking in the first person again.

I realized that I did not blog anything about the Chinese New Year festivities. Hm... Actually, CNY was not very different from how I spent the last few years. Only that I played a lot more bridge, a WHOLE lot more mahjong and ate a whole lot more food than all the previous years combined together. (But my weight is stable. I am pro~) And yes, I am quite sick of bridge and mahjong and_certain_new year goodies. (I forgot the name lor~)

Oh, and I got to see my paternal relatives everyday. I mean everyday. Because we have the habit of visiting paternal grand-uncles and aunties on the first day, and on the second and third we go to each others' houses.

I love Lou & Yue Zheng because we four (with my sis) have formed the mandatory playing-gambling-games-without-gambling clique.

I love Deborah's house because HAZEL my beautiful beagle is there. She also has a PS set and a whole lot more games than me. T_T She has promised to lend me HARVEST MOON in June. So. So. I am very excited. Muahaha.

I love Yiling's house because it's always so big and it's my entertainment zone. The main TV is SO BIG. And not only there's a PS with my favourite Marvel vs. Capcom and all the FFs, there's also a PS2 with, um, the Sims, and all the rest of the FFs. XD AND not only are there playstation sets, there's also a library of like 300 comics in her house. (*screams*) ANNND there is always nice food there. Not to mention the nice playground there. ANNNNND Yiling has FF-AC!! OMG! Didn't quite get to finish watching it when I visited on chu 2, but I am going there tonight. OMG. *excited*

I love Shoutarou Morikubo. (Seiyuu for Kadaj, Musica from Rave and NARA SHIKAMARU. =) )

Oya, I can't wait to finish watching Kung Fu Hustle. The NYJC library's copy. I can't believe I actually laughed until I cried.

Two new New Year Resolutions:
1) STOP BEING SO OBSESSED WITH WHITE CLOTHES. T.T
2) STOP LISTENING TO ORANGE RANGE. T.T

(can you tell I'm very bored? -.-)

thoughts

I just re-discovered something about myself today.

I cry most easily when I am angry.

So weird, huh. But it's true. When I get very, very angry, it becomes very, very hard for me to control myself. When I get very, very angry, I don't just release a long spew of angry and hurtful words. No, I do more than that. I cry. Kind of violently, if I may say so myself. XD

The issue was something very small. It was not all my fault. But neither was it all his fault. What got me angry was the shouting. No, teachers or figures of authority shouting at me doesn't make me angry (actually, it can sometimes make me want to laugh). You see, what they say can be as unjust as they like, but I don't really care about them, so it does not affect me as much. And when people like that are scolding you, it's not a two-way conversation.

But when it's a phone call, it becomes a conversation. And then it leaves you with no room but to respond. In this case, anyway.

Imagine a person talking very impatiently on the phone. You do your best to keep youu voice level down and not throw your ugly face because there are dozens of NYJCians around you. But the voice level of this caller just keeps rising by the second. Over something so dumb and so trivial. He is almost completely blowing it on the phone. And for what? Over a dumb and trivial matter.

It is_very_difficult for me not to get very, very angry in this case.

Not JUST because he is angry over a dumb and trivial matter. Not just that la. It's also because he is taking out his anger on me. It is not_my_fault that he had a bad day at work.

I understand. I empathise. I know that your irritance level is rocket high. The slightest stupid annoying thing or misunderstanding can make you blow your top. I know. I understand. I feel that way a lot too. So often now I come back from school with a terrible urge to maul the nearest thing in sight. Thing is I don't. And if I did vent on others, I feel bad and apologise for it afterwards...

Maybe you can't control your frustration. I know, I can't control my anger too. I must try harder. I want everyone to know that you should never, never take out your anger on others. It is terrible. In inflicts a whole lot of pain. It gets the other party upset. Before you know it, you have a full-fledged quarrel on your hands. And over what? Something extremely stupid and trivial and childish.

I felt extremely sucky. I showed my ugly unsmiling buay song face to a nice classmate as I brushed past. He didn't deserve to see an ugly sight like that... I showed it to a lot of people as I walked past too...

Know what, I think I got so terribly upset because it was my father shouting damn loudly at me. I have been screamed at by my mom dozens of times and not feel anything, but to hear it from my father is really huo shang jia huo. Dunno why. Come to think of it, only my parents can make me cry like that. Never anyone else. Why?

Sigh, an almost-good day is ruined. It is okay now, though. We are on friendly terms again. Lol, I'm talking as though me & my dad were once enemies or something o_o Maybe I should look on the bright side... Some kids live in mortal fear of their parents and do not dare to utter a single word in retaliation towards them. At least I am sort of 'allowed' to express my anger and hurt in words.

Then again, words are the most effective kind of weapon ever. Especially when you're angry. I remember someone once said that if you're angry you should never say anything. What comes out are hurtful words. I agree.

I will try to control my anger.

Aiya, what the heck is the purpose of this entry!? pointless.