tired

So tired. Physically and mentally. On the 18th I was low. On the 19th I was even lower. Today... I'm very tired. Probably has to do with the fact that I played mahjong from ten to twelve am yesterday and woke up at 8am. -_- I am so sleepy right now, I don't know how I'm going to sit through maths tuition later. There's only more than one week of holiday left to go, and I haven't touched the econs project thing, haven't gone running at all.

Hurt, disappointment. It's secondary school happening all over again. I'm missing first 3 months like crazy all over again. All over again. Things are always like this for me.

And...

I don't need to tell you everything. I don't need you to buy me things. I don't need you to buy me wardrobes of clothes. I don't need you to buy me 1001 boxes of jewellery. Of earrings, bracelets, necklaces. I don't want you to force me to buy something I don't want. I don't want you to spend so much $ on me. Because that's not what I need.

(Besides, you spend money like you have all the riches in the world. FYI, we don't.)

I want something money can't buy. I want my freedom. I want my privacy. I want your trust in me. And I'm not asking for much. I only want freedom to manage my money. So you can't let me go to the beach. You can't let me go to Night Safari. Sure. Fine. Just provide some better, some not-so-lame and ridiculous reasons for not letting me leave the house. Skin allergies? RIIIGHT. When did I last have skin allergies? Ten years ago? How many percentage of the population who visits beaches / goes cycling / ice-skating actually break a neck or get paralysed or die in the attempt?

I know you do this cause you care. But it's too much, I don't know how much longer I have to live with this. You always tell me, 'I buy so many things for you, you still xian dong xian xi. You don't know how fortunate you are'. But you are not giving me what I really want. I don't mind if you don't buy me anything anymore.

I just want my freedom.

I'm already 17.

(I want to get my hyperness and energy back!!!!)

Thanks hardcore for celebrating my birthday. I really enjoyed myself that day. Thank you very much. ^_^