sigh.

Sometimes I don't know why I do the things I do. Sometimes I don't really know who I am anyway. Maybe I'm very afraid that I won't like what I find... I am such an ugly, ugly person. I hate giving in. Hate being stepped on. Hate being taken for granted. Hate being so sensitive. Hate being easily hurt. Hate the fact that these traits I so despise can be found in myself.

Hurt grips me, silences me, coils me up, pastes a fake smile on my face, forms a barrier, forms a weapon that makes me hurt others too. The cycle of hurting doesn't end and it hasn't ended yet. I don't know if I am paranoid or thinking too much. But some things have to be said and done. Sooner or later. Why not sooner? (Why can't I say, why not 'never'?)

I want to run away. Run away, run away, run away.